T avoid heartbreaks, love no one, but yourself.

2011-10-12T02:47:00.001+08:00

Feeling likka bitch right now.
indecisive.
dk wtf i doing.
omggggg.......

2011-09-26T02:38:00.001+08:00

sorry~
long time since i posted.
2 more days left before I leave for Cambodia~
Excited and sian~
gahh....
Pray for journey mercy and stay healthy there.
hehe.
after this trip,
then 5 more days before i get t see you.
I miss you):

2011-09-06T04:43:00.002+08:00

Can you believe it?
I'm missing you like fuck already.
And my heart hurts, and I'm tearing already.
what a loser.
Am I suppose t feel this way?

2011-08-20T01:44:00.002+08:00

Exams around the corner.
Stress.
Plus I'm sick now = more stress.
sian ji pua.
Electronics on monday.
GG.com.
Really got t get over and done with this.
Gahhh~
Study studyyy~):

imyrn.wow):

2011-08-09T20:47:00.002+08:00

I really question myself in a way or another
"why am I in this course"
Can't believe this mindset has been with me since idk when.
It's National Day, and here I am, stuck at Autocad.
I've been trying t figure out this shit for like...the whole day?! :O
siann!): Don't feel like going school tmr:/
Since it's national day,

HAPPY 46TH BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE~! :D

2011-08-06T01:06:00.002+08:00

Upon request.....I shall do a post! (:
School has been really fucked up esp today's Gen Ed.
She was so bloody ridiculous. think she on her PMS.
whatever it is. Our group was the only group t have finish presenting.
wl eh-.- sian ttm. But it was good in a way uh! (:
Don't have t meet up on weds t do the project(:
Can waste time:D hehehe.

Concert on 4 Sept.
The day when you are gone.
oh well....

Violin tmr):
Goodnight! :D

2011-07-26T00:31:00.000+08:00

Electronics Test = 22 August. around 1 month left.
And I have no idea what it is. AT ALL.
So is Autocad.
omfg. why did I choose Engineering again?!
omgomgomgomg.
procrastinating again.
GG.com

Bad headache and horrible feeling in my throat = best way t start the week.
Yayy(Y) I like....NOT.
booo):

2011-07-26T00:24:00.002+08:00

Just sayinggg....
I can't stand PDA.
It's not like I'm jealous or anything.
* Which I have noooo reason t be.*
Just that. If you wanna do that.....
Do it discreetly, do it in your house, hotel whatever.
Just not in front of the public.
Holding hands = yes.
Kissing cheek = maybe yes.
But smooching out and small kisses here and there everytime = no.
I meann.... no offence t anyone out there.
This is just my own stand.
I just think that.
If I were in their shoes,
yeah. They might not be able t see the outsiders view.
But if they were in the outsiders view, they would maybe? be a lil gross out?
Okay. not gross out.
Just..... cannot tahan?
Idk. I just feel that. such things should be done where you and the one
are alone... then the feel is there?
Likee..... you don't really have t show it t other people and everything.
That's just....weird.
Personally, I would rather do it where there is just us and no one.
yeah. but not in front of so many people.
I would defintely feel uncomfortable,
and I would definitely wanna try and squirm out of your arms.
It's just weird t me.
You don't have t come and shoot me back or what-so-ever.
This is just, like I said, what I feel.

2011-07-20T22:23:00.002+08:00

The 4th of every month reminds me of you.
Whenever it rains, it somehow hits t me about that day.
Whenever I think of "xxx day"
a holiday, I will think of you.
I know you don't want me t suffer.
Don't want those who love you and you who love suffer.
Yet I just can't help but think about it over and over and over again):
Oh god whyy...
Why did you have t take her away.
It wasn't the time was it.
I didn't even say my last goodbye t her.
So why did you just take her away from me. From us.
Oh god.
Everytime I write this out.
I think about this.
I really want t cry.
)':

2011-07-20T22:13:00.002+08:00

Really quite a fucked up life I'm having.
No idea why I took engineering course.
Okay. I know. But still...
Everytime I ask this question:
"Why I take engineering siahhhh..."
Then I remembered why...
Cause I couldn't go into the course I wanted.
Cause I like mathematics alot. ( Even if I don't excel in it -.- )
Cause I'm interested in engineering, yet I don't know which exact one.
And the list will continue t go on as I spend my 3 years in SP Mech Engineering.
Sometimes, I really wonder:
" Why in the world did I not go t ITE? or MDIS?"
Oh right....My sister didn't want me t go.
My family didn't want me t go.
Not that it isin't a good school or what.
But just.... no.

So now, I suffer in Mech Engineering.
Looking at figures that I cannot fucking understand.
Looking at it as though they came from an alien planet.
Struggling t do my assembly drawings, orthographic projections in Autocad.

But, I do like my class, and the people I make.
Cuase even though some make fun of me, tease me.
But it's okay. Cause it is fated that out of how many billion people on earth,
I get t meet them, and know them in my poly life.

My violin sucks. I still don't understand why I still continue playing it.
But I like playing music instruments.
Could this mean that violin isin't the one for me?
But oh fuck. What is "the one for me"
fuck this shit.
I play for idk how many years already.
And occasionally I ask myself this question:
" Why am I playing the violin?"
Something that I can't quite get through my brain.
Partially was due t the cello being tooo heavy and big t travel around.

All I can say is that. I am a fucking lazy bitch.
No brains, no talents, no looks.
So why do I still live on Earth?
Wasting my time, and people's time.

This post, is actually procrastinating. sorry eh.
PS: fucking stress up though I don't show it.
Just wanna rant it out.

2011-07-18T00:47:00.003+08:00

Went t see you today.
The moment I saw you, I wanted t cry already.
The emotions in me were overwealming.
It just shows how much I miss you, love you.
I am sorry for not visiting you earlier.
I really wanted t cry right at that spot.
But I know that.
" No grace, you can't do this. You have t be strong for your family."
Although I cant say that I have not done anything that you should know of,
I know that I have disappointed you many a times.
Yet your unforgiving love has brought me t take you for granted.
It was a mistake t have done so.
Many a times, I have failed t do what you wanted me t do.
But I promise you that I would do whatver I can, t show you that I have at the very
least tried my very best t do whatever I could have done.
All I wanted t say that, when I saw you,
memories just came back flooding my mind.

I miss you. <3

Thank you for being with me for my entire life.

2011-07-11T23:20:00.001+08:00

oh. but oh well. I doubt you read my blog though.
All you do is read tweets that I can never tweet cause my fucked up phone is spoilt....
ciaoxxzxz

2011-07-11T23:11:00.002+08:00

Got back electronics... not really happy with it. fts!
Really got t start studying and chionging my autocad and electronics seriously.
But with whatever that has been troubling me the past few weeks.
It's really....tiring.:/

I know it's my fault for not telling you straight in your face that I'm not comfortable.
But how do you expect me t do that.
It hurts alright.
And if I were you. as much as I want people t do that, I will still be hurt by it.
So tell me how. HOW. Do YOU expect ME t say it straight in your face.
I may not wear like how girly girls does,
I may not be pretty as those chiobus.
But I have feelings okay.
(Not t say they don't)
I care for how you feel.
We have been friends for a while.
Do you think I would like t hurt you?
Do you think I want t spoil this friendship that we have?
NO.
That's why, eveerytime you come so near t me, I will move away.
When you put your hands around me,
I will shrug it off in a sort-of-nice-way.
(I think)
Cb. Yes, everything is my fault.
I'm sorry. But.....
you DO KNOW that I didn't like you from the start didn't you?
Fuck this cb shit.
knn eh.
!@#%+)(*$#*&

2011-07-11T10:33:00.002+08:00

Got back one of my results. suck like fuck.
lucky just pass. better than fail right.
But I think I got the lowest in class lah. so fuck this shit.
hahaha. Waiting for electronics paper t be back. )):
Hope all things will go well.
And I really need t start studying liaoo~ ):
life sucks. gahhhh...

Imissyoueverysingleday.
gettingtooattachedtyouisintareallygoodthing.
butmyheartdoesntwanttfollowmymind.

2011-06-30T23:37:00.001+08:00

I feel like a bitch when I dont update my blog):
Sorrryyy~
anywayy, this week is like exam week.
And wonderful me, has papers on tuesday only! So, I'm free for the week! :D
likka shiok onlyyy~
fun funn~ :D
Shopping today, and I spent like $150 like that.
fml. Need t start saving up and spending lesser liao~ ):
Might be watching movie tmr~ With cassy fel and nat.
Not confirm though.
And Idk if I shld go school tmr.
hmmm.....

please get well soon):

2011-06-25T02:58:00.002+08:00

Been a while since I posted.
Exams are like just next week - Tuesday! :/
Feeling a lil more confident. just a lil.
but that's better right? I mean,
let me just boost my esteem up. hahaha!
So... things has been happening.
Going back t school and study and staying in clubroom til
idk what time....
Wanna have more fun when mst are over.
More fun = cause I already having fun during study period. AHAHA.

I know I'm being selfish. But, I really hope that we can stay as it is right now?
Cause idw any changes at the moment. & I dont think I can accept it.
I really love your company and everything. But, I think you deserve better.
Really. I'm so sorry! :/
Please forgive me. But it won't be that easy I know. But sorry.

2011-06-21T02:53:00.001+08:00

I want someone t hug me really tight.

2011-06-21T02:51:00.000+08:00

2011-06-19T23:03:00.002+08:00

FATHER'S DAY TODAY.
Well, I actually wanted a dinner with my fam alone.
But we went t my granddad's house for dinner.
nonetheless, a dinner was still a way t celebrate father's day though.
The bad thing is, I didn't get anything for my dad.
Waiting for my sis t be back so we can have a good family time all alone.

My daddy.
Dad, thanks for being my dad.
I mean, if I ever had no dad, or have some weird as in strict and not so open-minded
understanding kind of dad. I think I would be...pretty much rebellious.
Thanks for being there for me always.
Understanding me and jie.
Always knowing how we feel sometimes.
Although you nag really alot. Like the talk can be a couple of hours -.-
But still, this shows that you care for us.
Thank you for always so-called willing t spend your money on us instead of on yourself.
And always making the effort t do things even though you're tired as hell.
I know I disappoint you every single time.
But I just can't help it.
Words really can't explain my feelings now.
But whatever I want t say is.
I'm glad t have you as my dad.
I Love You Daddy!
<3 <3
I don't know what t do without you. )):

<3mydaddy.com

2011-06-19T02:22:00.000+08:00

yah. believe it or not.

2011-06-18T22:49:00.000+08:00

THIS IS SO FREAKING CUTEEE!!! GAHHHH! :D :D :D
<3<3<3<3

2011-06-18T15:28:00.002+08:00

@ Joleen's house now. Trying t finish up my e-learning as well as autocad:/
Gonna do some past year papers later. if it's possible.
okay., I'm really scared now.
I mean, afraid. for you.

oh Lord, please pray that everything would be alright.
pleaseee?
please be back safe and sound. okay?.
Whatever it is, idk if you're reading this, but if you are,
text me or call me.

okay. crap. Stomach pain siah. not want t shit kinda thing. but just pain.
wtf. )):

2011-06-18T01:57:00.004+08:00

So boredd.
anyway, met the girls today at cine t watch Green Lantern.
Awesome show! Really!(:
It's worth watching. anwayy, I wanna watch
Mr popper's penguins. something like that. Super cute!! (:
Want a penguin as my pet! :D
Saw a couple of people at Cine, that's why I don't really like town.
At around 7-ish, Nat & Cass had t head back home t pack their genting stuffs.
While me, bb, and buddy ontinue walking around town awhile.
We then went t eat Jalan Kayu Roti Prata!(:
long time since I've been there. Fel's friend came as well.
Then after that, ate tau huayy(: shiokk.
Home next.
Okay. My plan is, t ton @ changi air-port or somewhere that has wireless&powerpoint.
Toning session.
I don't believe I cannt conquer this shit!
>:(
upset!

And I'm sorry for raking up your past! :/

2011-06-18T01:36:00.000+08:00

2011-06-16T21:32:00.001+08:00

I have did it, and done it and this is stupid.
But it makes me feel so much better than the pain in my heart.

2011-06-16T21:31:00.000+08:00

But th thing is, you don't even text. how t call?

2011-06-16T21:30:00.000+08:00

2011-06-16T01:19:00.000+08:00

2011-06-16T00:26:00.001+08:00

yes. it really does.....):

2011-06-15T23:57:00.002+08:00

These few days quite fk-ed up. seriously.
flkm. fts.
Idk what t do now. Like.... i really dk.
I wanna run away from everything.
But I would end up hurting you.
I myself also dk how I feel.
This is just plainly weird. really.
If you knew about me, my past.
You would change your mind. Maybe I shld tell you huh.
Then I would feel much better. or at least that's what i think.

Studying electronics the past few days.
mygawd. kill me please. arghhhh......
Didn't go for practice on tues. Doubt I'm going tmr either.
No mood go. Go also spoil everything.
Dont know why I so stress for what-.-
fml.

2011-06-13T18:20:00.001+08:00

@ clubroom now.
watching kungfu panda later~ :D
Hope it will be like nice lahhh~
And th hell. How my parents know I working?!
fml seriously. omggggggggg!!!!

2011-06-11T01:03:00.002+08:00

Smile Like You Never Smile Before,
So People Won't Know That You're Actually Hurting Inside.

Work today. Super tired! Cause I was out ystd. until 5 plus in the morning -.-
But we shld have this kinda thing more often eh.
I addicted liao. haha!
Work was pretty okay. Not very busy. But if there were more people, definitely
better! Like last time! (: <3
Working again tmr. 5-1030!
I wanna watch movie tmr night! Or, just slack outside...
Anyone wantss? Text me or soemthing! ):

Sometimes, it's better off dead than alive.

2011-06-11T00:56:00.001+08:00

2011-06-11T00:50:00.000+08:00

2011-06-11T00:48:00.002+08:00

2011-06-08T23:49:00.001+08:00

2011-06-08T23:48:00.001+08:00

2011-06-08T22:29:00.002+08:00

Miss this bitch like hell already.

Going back school for the past few days t study which was super duper un-productive.
Life sucks.
This has become my like idk. Everytime say kinda thing.
Dk what you call that.
I fucking scared for exams cause Idk what the hell am I suppose t do.
And idk when the hell is my exams-.-
Clueless with what I'm learning and fucking stress up.
Look at autocad, wanna die already-.-
Tmr studying electronics. Hope everything would be okay!
Study session with a whole bunch of people.
Crazy right. I know. Then after that watch movie! :D
Kungfu panda 2!! I hope lah. hahaha!
Exicted much. I really wanna score well for my MST.
But... I don't think I can. seriously.

F.M.L

2011-06-07T01:02:00.001+08:00

2011-06-07T00:54:00.002+08:00

This is myy sister...
and she going off t idk where cheng mai (?) for a month okay!
omfg. But it's for good cause so nevermind. But I swear I will miss her like fuck.
Family day today! Hang around Marine parade and Suntec.
Watched X-men : First class. Awesome show. Go catch it! :D
Ate dim sum which was like.... over-rated much.
Plus it wasn't that awesome. regretttt......
Home next. Gonna go back school tmr t study with Alexis! (:
auto-caddddd~

All the best for those having their exams now! (:
Jiayou!

2011-06-03T23:18:00.001+08:00

Conversation Between Ex's:

girl: your new girlfriend is pretty.
(i bet she stole your heart)
boy: yeah, she is.
(but you’re still the most beautiful girl i know)
girl: i heard she’s funny & amazing.
(all the stuff i wasn’t)
boy: she sure is.
(but she’s nothing compared to you)
girl: i bet you know everything about her by now
(like how you knew just about everything about me)
boy: only the stuff that count
(i can’t even remember the stuff she tells me when i think of you)
girl: well, I hope you guys last.
(because we never did)
boy: i hope we do too.
(whatever happened to me & you?)
girl: well i got to go.
(before i start to cry)
boy: yeah me too.
(i hope you don’t cry)
girl: bye.
(i still love you)
boy: later.
(i never stopped)

2011-05-29T22:21:00.000+08:00

So sweet right. I also want someone t do this for me.
but.... forget about it. It will never happen.

2011-05-29T21:48:00.002+08:00

This is what happens when you stayover at a girl's place.
You cam-whore. hahhaha.
These are just some photos that we took...
the rest are... for me t know, for you t find out. hheheh.
Stayed over, and Jo painted both of our nails.
she damn zaiii! Anyone who wants t paint nails, tell me! I will
contact her for you!! /hahhaha.
Left her house like 1 plus? then bathe and went t pasir ris t meet
laksh, kiah meng, and khai t do our project.
Got like.. a couple of things completed. Chiong tmr already siah!!
Tues presentation. siannn!! :/
scared siah!!!
Last week of school tmr, then the holidays.
gotta chiong for MST liao!
and brush up on my stuffs. arghh.....
Went jogging with joleen! (:
whewww.. tired siah! almost died. hahaha!
But I bet she isin't lahhh. She zai kia almost every week run twice or something.
me eh. run every once in a blue moon. hahahaa!!!
Gonna meetup with her t study tgt(: and continue our jogging sessions :D
Shall just nua until I feel like sleeping.
baibaiiiii.

2011-05-23T23:52:00.000+08:00

2011-05-23T23:41:00.002+08:00

Been a while since I updated my blog.
School has been pretty..... okay.. a lil boring?.
Mum's in Korea now.
I am so freaking jealous! ):
I asked her t buy my of course, KIMBUM <3
hhehe. She go one week siah.
One week never see her. likka weird siah.
Hope she's fine over there.
Miss her already.
Test today = BIG ZERO 00000!
fking shit. dk what the hell the question talking.
circuit and wire anyhow put.
all wrong. but answer correct .heheheh.
likka weird. but still zero-.-
fml.
my GPA gone already. die die.
MST and the second lab test must do fking well siah! Fuck.
Ate korean BBQ :D
happy kidd.
It's at Farrer park level 2.
not bad! (: Can go back again! (:
Tmr damn sian!
Have t bring violin, lab coat, laptop, and materials for prototype-.- siann ttm! )):
Forgot that I had autocad homework!
But thanks t my classmates, they reminded me and I went really fk-ed up mad after that,
cause I forgot about it-.-
stupidgirl siah!
Violin pieces are a lil un-catchable.
And still need play for lao shi( conductor) listen tmr):
fml. Hope he don't pin point me, and hope I will be able t do my best! :/
Hope all things go smoothly tmr.
Shall do autocad now.
byee~

2011-05-11T23:37:00.002+08:00

Ohana means family, and family means no one gets forgotten and left behind.

That's why we need t get back on our feet and be strong t help each other. <3

2011-05-11T23:12:00.002+08:00

It has been a week since it happened.
A lil moody, sian, retarded, annoying these few days.
I also dk why:/
Daddy's birthday today! (:
Happy Birthday daddy! <3
Shall do a post for you soon.
For now, my eyes like want close liao. siann.
Lucky tmr start at 1. heheh:D
Hope I can understand Electronics tmr! :/
I've been trying hard not t think about it,
but every lil thing that I see,
reminds me of you.
I want t stop feeling so upset.
Because I know you're happy now.
But I just can't help it.

2011-05-08T02:58:00.000+08:00

But I guess that's a lil hard now.

2011-05-06T02:40:00.001+08:00

2011-05-06T02:39:00.000+08:00

2011-05-06T02:19:00.002+08:00

At my house there the multi-purpose hall, ain't going t sleep til it's 5 plus 6 i guess?.
School later on. Luckily it starts at 11.
The last few times t really see her now.
I swear, she looks like a real indonesian from the photo,
and a beauty in the casket.
I'm sorry granny for coming late:/ I had school.
please don't be upset with me.
I tried t get a cab asap. But there wasn't any cabs.
But luckily I came upon this man who was really helpful and we shared a cab tgt.
So I got on t the cab and rushed here straight.
Some of my friends asked if I was really okay.
I guess I am. I don't even know it myself.
How t tell you?. But I really hope you guys can understand if I
idk, irritate ya'll or something.
Getting past this part in life, is tedious. I don't know how t overcome this.
It still comes back t me as a shocking thing. Really surprising t me.
And I bet t my relatives and everyone.
I hope all of us are able t brace ourselves up, and be strong.
Lessen the burden and not add on t it.
Although all of us may seem alright, but I know.
or maybe, I guess, that all of us ain't.
It pains us t see her go away.
But I know, she wouldn't want us t mourn for her.
She would want us t send her off happily.
I really hope granddad can brace himself up as well.
I really worry for him the most.
All I can do is pray for him t God.
Even though there are setbacks in life, we still have t go on.
Thanks t those who showed their concern.
And those who don't know. Continue not t know, if possible.
Til then, I shall look after her tonight.
Byee.

2011-05-04T20:56:00.002+08:00

The grandma that loves t cook fish and take out the bones for me.

This is my grandma. And unfortunately, she has passed away today.
I wasn't exactly near the hospital at all.
I hopped on the cab, and headed t the hospital straight.
The weather wasn't understanding, and it started pouring heavily.
I don't know if that was a way t show as a bad omen,
or t show the tears that we actaully shed.
The driver was new, and had totally no idea how t go.
He even went the wrong directions.
I don't exactly blame him. But I was really so upset that I didn't get
t see my grandma for the last time.
And i guess, it has really been a few weeks since I last saw her.
Do you know how I felt? I felt so guilty.
So horrible for not calling her whenever she was alone at home,
whenever she came over t our house, I wasn't home because I had t work.
She kept telling me t stop working, so she could see me more often.
T continue going church since our church were like opposite each other last time.
T visit her when I'm free cause we were just a few blocks away.
And now all of this, seems so important t me, so deary t me.
As I'm typing this out, the tears and memories just can't stop rolling down and
remind me. That I should have done this, should have done that.
Spent like an hour in the cab, before reaching the hospital.
When my sister called and told me that she was gone.
I almost cried but I had t keep my cool and only t believe what I saw.
During the whole journey, those memories just kept flashing by in my head.
When I reach the hospital, my tears were threatening t fall out already.
When I saw her on the bed, lying there lifelessly, it just came out.
This whole scene just reminded me of my grandpa.
It was just so shocking t see her lying there.
Everyone were just as surprise and upset as I was.
When I walked over t the bed, I looked at her pale face,
tube sticking out of her mouth.
My tears just couldn't stop rolling down.
I talked t her, asking her t wake up, telling her that I was here already.
Asking her t open her eyes t see me, t hold my hands like how she usually do.
But when she didn't reply, it just hit me hard that she passed away already.
Everyone was devastated, couldn't accept the shock that they received.
Tears were just pouring out like who knows what, just looking at her,
just reminded me of everything. Like, she loves durians, she love t fry her fish,
everytime we went t her house, she would ask us if we wanted fish and she would
cook for us, and help us t pick out the bones and then passing it t us.
How she likes t come t our rooms and look at us do our things.
The yakults that she would buy for my sis and I, knowing that my sis likes t drink.
Whenever we fought with our mum, she would come t talk t us.
Whenever there were problems troubling us, she would know and talk t us.
These little nitty gritty stuffs that she observed, and know,
just shows how much she understands us.
I love t disturb her, kissing her cheek everytime I saw her.
Teaching her ah lian tweets like "ii lub euu"
How she would always buy my favourite fish cracker during CNY.
How we always play blackjack during CNY.
The expression she will show whenever she was annoyed.
The small pillows that she gave me when I was a child.
How she would fold my clothes when I didn't want her t do so.
How she would nag me t study, and when she talked t me, telling me t study hard.
I miss her so much. I really do.
I miss kissing her cheek everytime I see her.
I miss teasing her on every single things.
I miss seeing her wear her favourite kind of clothes everytime we went out.
When I was at the hospital, I asked my sis.
"She's sleeping right? I saw her eyes, her eyeball was still black. Not like how a dead person shld be."
Trying t an wei myself that she was just sleeping.
I just couldn't accept the reality. That she was just gone like that.
She visited the polyclinic the night before, and the doctor diagnosed it as nothing
major. But I didn't go with her when my family did. I WAS SLEEPING.
I'm feeling damn guilty now.
Words really can't explain how I'm feeling now.
Sometimes, I just couldn't stand it when she calls our house, or disturb me
when I was doing my work.
I know that that's not the way it should be.
But you would be annoyed sometimes, wouldn't you?.
And yknow what my aunty said when we were on the way home?.
She said:"yknow what granny said last night when she didn't see you, she asked me where you were and she misses you alot."
When I heard that sentence, I broke down into tears again.
I was so freaking guilty, I had no idea what t say.
My tears just couldn't stop rolling down.
I didn't see her for the very last time.
Or even talk t her.
I really miss her.
My granddad ain't handling this well at all.
I pray t God that although she's not with us, at least that she is with him,
and that God will bless us all, and give us the strength and courage t get pass
this situation. T also know that she is looking over us from heaven. Dear Lord, please help us get over this, and that we are able t cope this shocking news.
No one expected this, and pray that God will watch over my granddad, give him the strength t carry on his life and eat as usual.Amen.

I'm sorry if this post is boring you out or anything.
This post is for my ah ma.
And I hope that she is well in heaven.
I just wanna say that,
treasure what you have if not you will live in regrets.

I love you ah ma. <3

2011-05-02T02:14:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7qdlVkgiz0

Parachute - The mess I made.

A really nice song that I heard.
And I have no idea how I came 'in touch' with this song.
Just link link link until here.
hahah. Really nice song.
Their songs are also nice!
Like, kiss me slowly and under control.
My preference(:

Lyrics:
Should've kissed you there
I should've held your face
I should've watched those eyes
Instead of run in place
I should've called you out
I should've said your name
I should've turned around
I should've looked again

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away

Should've held my ground
I could've been redeemed
For every second chance
That changed its mind on me
I should've spoken up
I should've proudly claimed
That oh my head's to blame
For all my heart's mistakes

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made

I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away

And it's you, and it's you
And it's you, and it's you
And it's falling down, as you walk away
And it's on me now, as you go

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away

And it's falling down, as you walk away
And it's on me now, as you go

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away

From Metrolyrics. (:

2011-05-02T02:13:00.000+08:00

2011-05-02T02:10:00.000+08:00

2011-05-02T01:52:00.003+08:00

Went for work today!
Pretty fun, but a lil tired, guess cause it's because it has been a while
since I've worked.
Now they got the new promotion. Some pasta thing.
OMGGG. I WANT T TRY SIAH! :D
Food makes me happy. (:
Ben, Jeremy and Nic came t eat today. Joke siah.
Suppose t play Lan after work at downtown. But it was full.
So ate at popeyes instead. And it was really cheap actually.
Then got home and all.
Shall post tmr? Maybee....

2011-04-28T23:59:00.002+08:00

Super duper a lot of homework.
Damn sian! zzzZZzzzzZZzz.
Die ah. must chiong homework liao. cause I keep dragging:/
paiseh. well, I better sleep now.
cause class starts at 11 tmr! :/
I joined dragonboat's camp already!
hope strings also have camp!!! :/
6-8 may! Hope it will be fun, and I will meet new people:D
goodnight! :D

2011-04-28T23:32:00.003+08:00

-Friends are like four leaved clovers, hard t find and lucky t have-
*suppose t appear with the picture above:/ *
Because I really cherish you as my friend, I do not want t spoil this
friendship that we have.
So please, i try t be more understanding, and so do you.
okay?. Really.
Because this has been getting on my nerves these few days already.
I'm tryin t hold it in, and not bursting it out or anything.
Because I respect you, I know this is your character,
I know you don't mean it.
But sometimes, the joke has gone too far.
Or maybe, it is always like that, but kinda because my best friend coming,
I pms. If it's like that, it's my fault. I apologize.
But if it's not, I'm sorry. I really hope everything will be back t how
it is like everyday.
I treat everyone the same.
You know things that people don't know, so does other people know things that
you don't know.
I'm sorry t say that you're not my close friend or what not,
cause we only known each other for what?. few months?.
Sorry, I don't trust people this easily.
I have been hurt and broken once, it will not happen again.
I know I've been a bitch t you,
but I hope you won't be forever one who bastards me.
I really hope eveything would go well.
But just don't push it yeah.
Thanks for being there for me always.

Photos from saying images.
Thanks! :D

2011-04-27T20:48:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, in life, we can never expect too much from each others.
Never put full trust even t people you are really close with.
If people annoy you, just let them rant.
Don't let that get into you.
Because if you ever let them get into you.
You are sooooo~ gonna be fking pissed.
If it really gets into your head right.
A.T.T.I.T.U.D.E O.U.T!
This is it.
Seriously. Been in there, maybe still inside.
Although sometimes it's just jokes and everything,
but it will still get into us.
But just chill lax, take a chill pill,
breathe in and out deeply, slowing down your agitated heartbeat.
Because in life, we shouldn't let them get into you.
Plus, just try and let it go.
Because, you can take it as a learning experience in a bad way.
But isin't this life?.
Anyway.
Enough nonsense. I actually don't really know what I'm typing.
No focus point, no nothing.
Whatever. Bye.

2011-04-27T20:41:00.004+08:00

In school now with the whole bunch of SMAE people.
Just ended interview not long.
DAMN SHAG.
sibei sian. School started at 8. And I'm still in school now with the rest.
entirely 12 HOURS! OMGGG.
Shall go home and do some homework. Most likely Autocad:/
Hate autocad, but must conquer that man.
zZzzZzzz.
LUCKILY school starts at 1 tmr:D
heheh. But I still dk what t bring tmr:/
I don't really know what CCA t join.
Maybe Strings Esemble siah.
Improve my violin and everythin. Orr......
Sports?. HHEHHEHEHE.
But I think FAIL siah. piang eh.
Means, must exercise all solely with my own determination and everythin.
Maybe going t eat dinner with the rest later.
Hope, can get home by 10 or somethin?.
If not die siah! :/

Shall go off now. Byeee~

T end this off,
KIMBUM! <3

HAWT STUFF~

2011-04-25T23:35:00.003+08:00

School has been pretty fun.
Just that autocad is really screwing me around.
Tried t use autocad earlier on. But it just doesn't work
cuase of license shit or something.
I.N.F.U.R.I.A.T.I.N.G
So annoying. Shall try tmr.
ITOE tmr. SIANN!
It's something like D&T,
where you do hands-on stuffs.
totaly not cool.
I rather maths stuff! ):

School starts at 830 tmr! Means, 730 leave house!): which is like,
7 latest must wake up! ):
Shall sleep soon. Goodnight.

Ohhhh. I changed my blogskin.
ALL BY MYSELF.
SO PROUD OF MYSELF.
But t most of you is like "wl blogskin also dk how t change"
but I'm a noob kayy. dont laugh at me.
okay. bye!

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in track pants, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU… The one who turns to his friends and says, “thats her”…." - saying images.

2011-04-24T20:47:00.003+08:00

Sentosa yesterday. As usual,I was late. heheh.
Reached at about 2 i think with desmond,jonathan and nicholas.
Played games and all. Left sentosa at 7.
Ate carl's junior for dinner. And I saw shiyi! :D
Long time since I saw him.

School tmr! :/ Hope everything goes well. Still quite annoyed with autocad.
Better read up on my electronics and autocad.
Must be able t catch up with the class uh.
Life sucks. hahahah.
And it's only the second week of school, and I'm already sick and tired
of going school! :/

Hakim! :D

And alexis:D
more photos up next.....

2011-04-20T12:47:00.002+08:00

In school right now, with Alexis sleeping beside me.
Funny kid. She must be really tired.
She's my classmate actually! Really smart as well.
It's currently raining outside. Sad life.
I had t wake up at like 6 today cause lessons was at 8!
FML. And we didn't had t bring our laptop actually.
But miscommnication, so the whole lot of us brought.
Class has been...really boring. Auto cad today.
A lil fun. but overall, BORING TTM!
My friend had t keep repeating whatever the lecturer said cause I was
half awake. omggg.
Life has been.... pretty mundane. Just hope that all gets better
as poly life goes on.
Gonna stay in school til 3 plus cause charmaine has dip-plus class.
And we're all gonna head down t eat sakae buffet! :D
yayyy! (Y) SUSHIIII~
Likeashiok only. Hahahah.

And I read your blog. Congrats.
AND WL! NEVER TELL ME! I had t find it out myself.
But whatever it is, hope everything goes well for you.
And if you wanna talk t anyone, I'm here!
Keep in contact?.
But idk if you reading this-.-

ohhh.Sushi tei just called.
And I'm working next sunday. OMGGG.
I HOPE MY DAD ALLOWS.
ehehehehe. :P

2011-04-17T23:58:00.002+08:00

School starts like..... later?.
So siann! ): I hope my class would be fun.
I mean, I already know that they are fun and eerything.
butt... I don't know how t say though!
oovoo-ing now. School starts at 1.
meeting Alexis and Daniel at 1245.
so like must leave house 1145.
so = wake up 11.
sian......
Last day of work today.
Quite fun actually! (:
hope when have holidays can go back and work lohh(:
My parents don't allow me t join DB or Canoe -.-
totally wtffff~ ):
So upset i tell you! ):
I want t join a sports CCA! ):
But wl eh):
Hope I can pursuade them siah!
Anywayy. I go back t oovoo-ing noww~
Shall post next time! :D
byee~

2011-04-02T14:18:00.002+08:00

These are some of the people that I'm in the same group with.
My group name is : Dragonhawk.
I know. It was suppose t be dragon plus HULK, haahah,
Had a really fun time there!
As you know, Engineering course alone doesn't have much girls already right.
But what's worse at this camp is.... There are only 5 girls!
omggg. So like I estimated around 60 campers,
so just think of it.
55 guys, 5 girls. Tragic! These are only the campers.
Then plus the GLs and helpers, around 12-15 girls eh! OMGGGGG.
hahahah! And, I'm quite lucky, t get t be in the same group as this girl.
Because we only have four groups. So lucky me, get t be with her.
Obviously, we had fun and the guys like 'give in t us' kinda thing.
And the best thing is that,
usually in camps, you see that girls have t queue up really long just t
bathe right! BUTTTT!
For this camp, the GUYS have t queue up! They even had t use our toilets
t bathe. Really amazing. hahahah! Once in a lifetime lahhh.
Unless, I get t go t next year's orientation camp.
That's IF I'm able t get it.
Anyway, camp has been pretty awesome. And our group already plan outing!
fast bo! hahaha.
Going t eat seoul gardens on 4th!
And that's the day when I'm gonna config my lappy siollll~
Well, gonna go for dance today.
After 2 weeks okay. consecutive weeks somemore!!
die ahh! Lucky got grace t teach,
Well, the other grace. pretty cute! HAHAH.
Shall go bathe now.
meeting marie soon! (:
Byeee~
If there are more photos, I'll upload!
Waiting for them t upload!

Zao liaooo~

2011-03-23T01:34:00.003+08:00

Celebrated Cel's birthday today.
Together with prissy's one as well.
hope the photos will be uploaded asap!

Ate at Timbre! The food there is pretty...not bad.
A lil pricey,
a lil not - so - good service.
Yeah. But overall, we had live band, good food, drinks and great company t top that off!

Pierced my industrail.
Awesomeeee~
Was suppose t pierce my tongue though.
But just the thought of having camps and working
not able t talk pisses me off.
So maybe before school re-opens or something,
I'll go do it or somethin lohh.
Egg-cited though.
And oh. I need t buy my lappy on friday! ):
But I have work on! :/
FML! This sucks big-time.
How t tell them now?. GG.com
Fake a sick leave or something?. But I need t get it either
friday or next monday.
Which is impossible. Cause I monday got camp!
Oh! speaking of which,
my parents are not at home!! LALALALALA!
Can mj all. no lah. hahha. kidding only.
It doesn't make any diff though:/
sucks.
They went today til sat,
I sat til tues.
One whole week no need see them.
Awesome?.
Or.
Awesome?.
hahaha. But nevertheless,
I hope that when I pierce my tongue.
They wont ask me t take out.
Even if they do, I'll not do it.
They pay me double the amt I did it,
then I'll consider.

On some hand, I think that my parents actually reads my blog.
At least I know my uncle does. HAHAH.
Industrail piercing takes at least 2 months t heal. omggggg.
fun-time ttmxzxzxzz.
NO SEAFOOD.
So that adds on t my.....well. rice strike. hahahah!

Tongue piercing = $40.
SO CHEAP RIGHT! EGG-CITED ONLYYYYY~

Ask me anything:
http://www.formspring.me/namelasee

2011-03-23T01:22:00.002+08:00

Is love really like this?.
Can it be this sweet?.

It's true that in every relationship,
on the surface, people may think that
this couple is so sweet,
that couple is so compatible.

But is it really like that?.
Certainly, deep inside, just maybe between the couples, and their close ones,
That things are not as pretty as they look on the outside.
Things are sure UGLY on the inside.
Just like...
I don't know. I forgot what was it that I was t compare it with.
Forgive me.
Whatever it is, sometimes, this made me not trust so much on being
in a relationship.
Sure it's good t have a relationship and all.
I would want t.
Who wouldn't.
But, when troubles come and disturb my heart and thinking.
It sure sucks.

But what relationship is it without ugly truths?.

So confusing aye?.

2011-03-15T23:33:00.002+08:00

So sweetttt~.
It's the march holidays for some people, but for me,
it's still the same old usual shit.
Work has been still good.
Just that I'll have t be runner for consecutive three days,
and not working consecutive for another three days,
THIS SUCKS!
My this month's pay is SOOOOOO gonna be little! ):
Better save as much as I can manxzxzxzx.
ARGH......
But at least the money that I spent on, is somewhat....
for good reasons. (:
So. It still doesn't make it sounds as bad as spending it on useless stuffs.
Right?.

And well, it's the month of lent.
And I have well, trying t give up on rice, and potato.
But ohmyfkinggawd. I broke my potato shit kayyy!
I was doing runner today, and I ate this sweet potato thing
that they fried before eating it.
I still can happily put it in my mouth okay! ):
SO UPSET WITH MYSELF!
I better do this right straight man! :/
Although Lent is for catholics, I reckon that, it wouldn't hurt t just
follow this routine of theirs. Right?.
I mean like..... for my own sake also lahh! :/
Helps me in trying t diet as well!
hahaha!
It's like no fast food. or even if it's fast food, also
no potatos, frenchfries, etc....
GOOODDDDD~ C:

So, I'll just keep on trying, and doing it.
Until it ends! (:
So wish me luck alright :D

Runner tmr again.
Better bathe now and sleep cause the clock is ticking baby!
Goodnighttt~

PRAY FOR JAPAN PLEASE. THANK YOU.

2011-03-12T01:53:00.001+08:00

2011-03-12T01:51:00.000+08:00

2011-03-12T01:19:00.003+08:00

Everything has been going.. pretty smoothly I guess.
Just a few pop-ups that brings me down.
Omg. And the enrolment for SP. So many things done wrongly!
bleakkk:/
I got cravings for pizza hut and mos burger now.
hownowbrowncowww! ):
I want my pimples t go away! ):

Just got the news about Japan few hours ago.
I just pray that God will be able t help all of us, and them,
that they will be able t overcome this big problem,
and that he will give us the strength, courage and perseverance t
carry on with their lives.
Holding on t their lives deary.
I also like t pray that everyone will continue t pray for
Japan, in any other ways of how they pray, regardless of the religions.
Amen.

2011-03-07T04:55:00.001+08:00

Spamming blogger now.
omggg.
What is happening t me?.

2011-03-07T04:33:00.001+08:00

http://sayingimages.tumblr.com/post/3545207613/ill-always-be-here-for-you

For you.

2011-03-07T04:29:00.001+08:00

2011-03-07T04:26:00.000+08:00

2011-03-07T04:19:00.002+08:00

I was just thinking, blog- hopping and everything.
Then it just came into my mind, like....
What would I do, if I became uncontactable,
unreachable for a day or something?.
Off my phone?. Or just ignoring texts and calls.
Maybe I shld try it.
There doesn't seem t have any difference.
Would it?.
I have been sleeping in the wee hours everyday!
And munching on fking snacks.
And I'm gaining weight. Like WHAT THE FUCK!
cb dog. I really cannt take it siah.
So fking fat for what!
omgggggg.

Just watched finish Running Man ep 18!
Can't wait for Ep 19!! :D

And I am watching this show now,
and I think, that womens are really ridiculous at times.
OMGGGGGGGGGGGG.
I'm also a woman. hahahahahhahaha!
GG!

I want t watch " Little Red Ridding Hood"
heheheehhee.

2011-03-05T04:54:00.002+08:00

http://www.formspring.me/namelasee

sooooooo~ just ask me what ya wanna knowww~ :D

Life has been.....pretty mundane.
Have not been texting/talking t you since Idk when....
Hmm.... I don't know what is this that I'm feeling now.
My daily routine is like sleep, wake up, work, come home, watch running man, then sleep
again.
So boring right!
Just got home abt 1 hour ago?.
Was out surprising Kaiting for her birthday!
Went t Changi Village, see Ah guaaxxzx! :D
and eat.
After that went t play pool at hougang plaza.
Long time since I've played. And I suck!
omggggggg....hahaha!
After that came home lohhh.
Dance prac later!
Hope I can wake up man!

Watched " I am number four " already! Awesome show!
Go catch it if you haven! (:

Shall continue watching my Running Man!
BYEEEEEE~ :D

mental note:
Can't wait for poly t start! :D

2011-02-26T00:14:00.002+08:00

귀여운 권리? ^^

Work has been.....So so.
No work today,
So went t meet marie and jacq.
Had popeyes! :D
Hang around, and talked a little.
Was suppose t watch "The Rite"
But Marie and I missed it.
So we went t eHub, and played L4D2 instead.
Went t meet parents at City Square Mall.
Had Astons, and came across Kym and the rest.
Walked around, and walked past Sushi Tei.
Superrrrrrrrr not crowded! There wasn't any queue at all okay!
wl ehhh! Unlike at T1! At that timing confirm still have some people! :/
Bought GC and headed home.
Talked t them abbout the SP application.
But I'm still clueless about what t do and everything.
I really can't wait for school t start! As well as all the camps that's
gonna be held! :D

Til then..... Let me just enjoy my life making money.
And facing shitty customers. (:

2011-02-13T14:41:00.002+08:00

So cuteeeeeee~ HAHAHAHA! damn sweet righttt~
Working later on! zzzzz.....
Relatives came over t my house for gathering.
And I was happily asleep. Ohmannn....

V's day = tmr = like nothing like that.
So boringggg! Unlike when there was still school! HAAHAHA.
Not working on Wednesday! :D
But working tmr. But no difference.
Rather work tmr!

2011-02-10T01:46:00.003+08:00

damn right. I miss hearing your voice. And seeing your smile.
So cheesy right. But whatever.
Although we ain't going t the same school already.
But I'll still miss you.
Working the whole week from 12-1030! Can dieee.
only not working on sat!
BUTTT, I ain't working on a lot of days next week:D yayy! (:
I really hope I can see you this Friday!
Miss you a lot! ):
I wanted t call you every single night,
but by the time I reached home, you would have been asleep,
And if I call you when I wake up,
you will be having lessons, while I get ready for work.
Screwed up!
When I not working next week, I'll definitely go find you! :D
I promise!
Really want t see you on friday! ):

Ohhhhhh.....The gays came back ystd!!! :D
so happpyyyy! But I was being runner-.-
but it's not the usual two. Just one of them, with another 3 people!!!!
And 1 of them happen t be super duper cutee!
But not as cute as kimbum lahh! HAHAHAH.
Straw hat kid:D
See! All the gays that come t ST, is good looking kayy! :D
At least this brightens my day! (:
The night before they came, I was still hoping they would comeeee~ HAHAHA!
Ironyyyyyy......
Shall go sleep now. If not I have trouble waking up!!
Goodnightttt....
or
Goodmorningggg~ :D

Miss you baabeeeeee.

Most photos from this webby! :D
http://tumblr.sayingimages.com/

2011-02-06T03:49:00.002+08:00

Just ended mahjong. Phewwww. Meeting nat they all tmr!((; finally.
After so long. Blogging using iPhone. Which is the first time for me though.
CNY has been normal and somewhT boring in a wayy.
Hmmmmm.... Collected not a lot of angbao. But nevertheless, it's better than nothing.
Right?. Went t Jess house ystd!(: finally met some of the classmates. After sho longg.
And my darling, Sandhya, is sick!): get well soon, wifey(:

I've been reading your tweets and all, but idk if you are referring t me.
If it's not, don't laugh at me, for thinking t highly of myself.
But t me, at least I'm a lil happy for you, because you found someone else.
Just wanna say, I miss talking t you.
Give me a call of something?.
That is if you read this.

I can't wait for poly t startttt! (: sho excited!C:
But it's adult fare now): irritating!):

2011-01-29T03:46:00.002+08:00

I guess I've been really clumsy these few days, or maybe weeks.
Having moodswings now and then.
Sorry t those I've offended or some sort.
Thinking of dye-ing my hair again, and trimming my hair.
Cause it's so freaking longg and thick! >:(
hahahhaa. got into SP.
Hope I can do well and try t excel,
meet new friends, and have fun in my course/school.

And t you out there, don't worry.
At least you know you have tried your best.
And had grasp hold of every opportunity given.
All the best in everything. (:

mental note: Speak less vulgarities.

2011-01-24T02:44:00.002+08:00

work has been rather.....work-a-ble.
Just that I have been slacking on the schedule.
Not so hard-core already.
Posting results on wednesday.
So scared...... What if I cannt go anywhere?.
wtffff.
I wanna go CSI exhibition! ):
anyone want go with meeeeee~?
I'm trying not t think about anything now.
Trying. Hope all things work-out well.
Trust God in whatever he does in my life.
Thank him for everything.

Went Bugis with Faust after church ystd.
Spent about $100. and the day before $150!
die die die. and those clothings are not my CNY CLOTHES AT ALL! )):
Die ttmmm! )):
Ohhhh. And met 'John' todayy. hahahah!
Faust will know who it is! LOL.
Hope t get my shopping stuffs done asap!
and my berms at cotton on! )))):
Soon! :D

Pay hurry comeee~ :C
Hope work will go smoothly later on! :D
Gonna sleep noww:D
Night.

2011-01-20T00:10:00.002+08:00

Shouldn't I be apologizing t you instead of you doing so?.
Cause I've been the one that has been saying those shit t you.
Hurting you even when I was just making fun of you.
I'm trying t save this relationship that we have,
and I really hope that things will work out for us.
I really don't mean it when I said I don't want t see you on my birthday.
Do you know, how much I really wanted t see you on my birthday last year.
I was praying, hoping at least, that my friends would bring you along.
But ah, watch and hear too much of this kinda surprise stuffs.
But I really wanted t meet and see you on my birthday.
I didn't say I hated talking t you on the phone right?.
I just said I don't like talking on the phone.
I don't mean talking t you or anything.
But I've been talking t you on the phone for a few months already.
I guess that has become a habit for me,
that's why I tweeted that I miss talking t you on the phone.
I swear.
I'm not the one with the authority, neither are you inferior t me.
Why are you feeling inferior with me?.
Why are you saying that I have the authority.
I don't. I really don't.
Half the time I don't know whatever I'm doing,
is it the right thing or not.
You were something t me,
more than a friend in fact,
but nothing like a relationship status.
Cause you and I are both not ready for it.
I know that, how can I not know that?.
Are you kidding me?. Both of us jolly well know about it.
I already said. Don't be sorry. I deserve this.
I don't mean what I say. I really really, miss you alot.
Everytime I see the table that we sat that time,
it reminded me of that day.
I know, friends are important. I definately know that.
My friends are also important t me. A lot.
I know you get jealous easily. I know. But sometimes I just wanna tease you.
I'm sorry if I went overboard. :/
I'm sorry for mentioning her. If you want me t stop,
I will. Seriously.
I'm still worried if you will go back t C, or even closer.
I just can't get my mind off you and C.
And yes, we are talking about the same person!
Ahahahahaha! I'm not going t tease you anymore,
just that you guys have the common interest= art.
HAHAHAH! I know lahh. Don't worry.

Now blogging t each other is a new way t contact each other.

I miss you babe.

2011-01-18T00:15:00.002+08:00

Many things have happen.
It didn't come at one go.
But one by one.
I realise it. But I didn't have any execution on it.
No actions, nothing. Just taking it for granted.
Now that it's gone, I can't help by regretting.
But tell me, what can regretting do?.
Nothing.
So, I don't want t hog the past.
I just try my very best t move forward, t not think about it.
I'll just try. It doesn't hurt t try at all. Right?.

Everytime you talk t me about C, I feel a little jealous.
When I talk t you about M. The new person,
I also feel jealous about it.
Just because I keep making fun of you, it doesn't mean that I don't bother.
You may say that it's a little too late t say it now.
But, I just wanna say it alright.
Whenever you go crazy over 'SBSP', I'll just think like how cute you are.
how you know every sentence of what he will say and everything.
Everytime I talk t you at night, I don't know if you remember,
but I said before how much I hate talking on the phone right?.
The only time I like talking on the phone was with my ex.
But you are the next person that I wouldn't mind talking at night at all.
I bet you don't remember at all.
You don't seem t be affected by this.
Guess cause you don't want t bother about this shit already.
I'm sorry if I made you upset.
I'm sorry for saying mean stuffs t you.
I'm sorry for making fun of you everytime.
I hope we still can be friends.
The reason why I wanted t call you that day was cause you seemed upset
on twitter. But I guess you had your friends t turn into.
But I don't mind. Cause your friends are more important.
I'm just a passing friend maybe?
And apparently, your friends take me as a joke?.
Idk. That's how I feel. They can laugh all they want.
I don't care what they think.
Is it really that funny?.
By missing you, it's a joke t them?.
hahahaha. so funnyyyyy. Idk what t say at all.
Your friends are your priority. They are your friends.
I'm not theirs. So I don't care much.
So, if we still can be friends, even contactable friends I mean,
then that's okay. But if we can't,
thank you for being part of my life,
for teaching me a lesson,
t not take people for granted.

Hope everything goes well for your future endeavors, and take care.

2011-01-12T01:38:00.002+08:00

Results were back.
And I cried wayyyyy before I even gotten back the results.
Because of Ms tan seok kuan! WLLL~ LOL.
Glad that some of my subjects paid off,
while others. disappointment.
But... I guess that's all there really is t my hardwork.
I hope that God will help me in making the right decisions.
T know what I really want, t help me t think through carefully
cause this concerns my future/ 3 years in poly.
I wanna thank him for helping me whenever I was in despair.
Pray that I'll be able t make the right decisions,
and that I'll be able t get into the course that I want t get in.
Amen.

Now... I really hope I'll get accepted t psychology.
Everyone will be thinking like:
" Crap shit. she got such high point, and she expects t get into psychology
she must be dreaming!"
or
" cannot one lah. she can get in....The sky drop money down uh"

This is the kinda reaction I'll get. seriously! Cause
that's what I'll say when others got into it as well.
simple.
But there's just this little chance that everyone is given.
And I'm thinking of grasping hold of this small little maybe 0.01% of chance that
I have right now. By putting all psychology courses into the first few
choices. Followed by music courses, then engineering and maybe MI?!
hahaha. I know. MI!-.-
take up the space lah. hahahah.

That's approx what I'm most likely t put.
Hope all goes well for me.
And I'll be a lucky chap t get into psychology! :D
I hope lah!
* It doesn't hurt t have a little hope up right? *

work tmr. and the day after. and day after.
Just work, home, stress, results and sleep.
so boring. But....that's life rightt. hmmmm
Gonna sleep already.
Goodnighttttt~
or goodmorning? (:

2011-01-10T13:13:00.002+08:00

Ate one big piece of dark chocolate. made me feel much better now.
At least for now.
Less than an hour and I'll be taking back my results.

Whatever it may be, I pray that God will help me t calm down,
and give me strengh.
And also t let me know that whatever the results may be,
be it good or bad, he'll light the way for me, and help me t understand what is
best for me. So now, I pray that,
I'll open up my heart and accept it.
Amen.

I hope I won't cry too badly.
Be it good or bad:/

I'm so fking scared. I woke up with a stomach ache,
and spent almost an hour in it. shitting....))):

Good luckkkk..... everyone. (including me) :C

2011-01-07T01:04:00.003+08:00

Not working these 3 days.
Poly open house! :D
Excited though. went t NP and SP already!!
Met up with people like esther (cb meow), jessica, Diyana, Natalie, Cheong Jing.
I think that's abt it.
Went with Bb and Kt. heheh.
went AMK hub t walk around and drank Gongchaaa~ :D
Erica's chalet these few days.
Gonna pop by on the sat instead of tmr I think.
Cause it's the bbq and all.
Gonna go Bugis? before going RP and NYP!
Hope t see other friends again! (:

Just went running, then went Jo's house.
Talked t her abt 'O' level results and everything.
gahhh. freaking out already. I've been counting down since.... Monday?!
or was it earlier?. aiyah. fk lah. freaking scared abt it! :/

The following photos were taken at ML's house!
Apparently, Kt was cui-ing me t upload. so here it is! (:

This was the cut that I had at my workplace because of some ice-cream box.
fk-ed up. But it's healed now. heheh:D

2011-01-03T23:55:00.002+08:00

New year resolutions........

1. Be happy.
2. Forget those unhappy stuffs.
3. Live life t the fullest.
4. Try not t have any regrets.
5. Put in my 100 % in everything.
6. GROW TALLER within this last year.
7. Meet new friends.
8. Conquer my fears.
9. Grow closer t God.
10. Let bygones be bygones.
11. Be true t my heart.
12. Stop thinking so much.
13. Mind my own business.
14. Be friendly.
15. Love people for who they really are.
16. Keep my room clean.
17. Reduce the use of vulgarities.
18. Have fun!
19. Achieve something in Music.
20. Know what I really want in life, and go full force towards it.

hmmmm. I think that's about it?.
If there are still somemore, I'll keep adding then.

Results....
one word....
Fuck.

2011-01-01T23:02:00.003+08:00

I'm 18 this year. Not literally lah. Haven pass my birthday yet.
But still! zomggg. so old! ):
2011 already. But things are still the same as before.
New year resolutions. hmmmmmm, I'll type it on the next post or something asap.

Okayyy... I really wanna catch this show. Like seriously!
So awesome trailer. This show intrigues my interest.
work has been pretty fineeee~
gonna continue working.
What's freaking me out is results day.
Which I think is freaking me out really bad.

Gonna go church later. Play lan after that maybeee?. heheheh:D

I miss you actually.
But I guess I've got t move on.

2010-12-23T03:15:00.004+08:00

Long time since I've blog. I know. It's either being too lazy, or can't be bothered
t update.
Went t eat Ikea meatballs on monday! :D
With marie as usual! shiok onlyyy.
met ah lian for a whie before going t work.

Ain't the M&M's looking goodddd:D

My life has been like work, sleep, eat etc. nothing much though.
i din't know that it has already been Christmas week already.
Guess this is what work does t you.
Channel U has been showing BOF.
And I din't even know! omgg. Kimbum! so cuteeee~
Everytime I saw him, I will just squeal/ scream. Just... normal reaction. Right?.
hahaha.

On a lighter note, I miss school.....

And of cause them! :D

Tentatively, 10 Jan take back results. FML. I'm really scared.
Those stupid, useless thoughts,
that took over my mind, grrr. ):
Work has been really fun, and tiring.
Sometimes really pissing off because of the customers and people.
But ahh, whatever.

I'm having chest pains recently.
And I went t have a few look-ups on yahoo.
And I got a lil afraid cause they said it might be High blood pressure,
or any sudden heart attack. Fuck. Scaring myself again.
What do I gain from scaring myself?.
FEAR.

We don't text anymore. why?.
Work is more important now i guess.
Occupy myself and my brains. So I won't just think anyhow.

"Vehement objection implies consent."

2010-11-22T15:55:00.005+08:00

Braided my hair for prom actually, both sides somemore. Damn shiokk. I <3 :D
some prommy photos coming uppp (:
Prom was okay.very boringggggg. But we all very rush! cause we lost track of time.
heh:/ after prom, we went t sing K! All of us were dead beat alreadyyy!
And the heels were killing all of us. reach back the hotel at abt 4?.
Then slept until 10 plus.
Checked out, and went t Suntec t eat Astons!
Yayyy! (Y) HAPPYYYYY!~

We are the 'Powerpuff girls'~
Left t right : Bubbles, Buttercup, Blossom
Zomggg right! Shawn was the one who thought of it.! omgggg
I wanna start work early! Cause i need $$$! And i thingk i keep wasting my time at homey.

This photo nice onlyyy! ((: I swear, this is the one and only time i'm gonna wear
heels okay-.- so high and pain! zomgggggg~

AND LASTLY, I WILL MISS YOU BEETCHES! FK MY LIFE. I SWEARR! I MISS ALL OF THEM SO MUCHHHHHHH~ )): AND THE REALLY LAST TIME THAT WE WILL MEET, IS WHEN WE TAKE OUR FKING 'O' RESULTS! I WANNA MEET UP WITH THEM SOOONNNNNN:/

2010-11-17T00:06:00.002+08:00

Some weird stuffs happening.
When i was on the train otw t FEP.
I suddenly felt so lonely.
So alone, so scared.
Idk why do i hve that feeling.
That insecurity feeling tugging my heart.
So weird, so freaky.

Braiding hair on thurs!
Prom is on thurs.
no excitement though.
Maybe only on the day itself, will i then feel it.
I'm really ultra broke!
Got t borrow money $$$$$ from daddddd.
Suppose t start work on 1 December.
But i guess i will push it forward t 25 Dec! (:
Can't wait t work! Although i'll be all alone and everything.
It's all for the work experience!
Got t get everything ready before that! :D
EGGCITEDDDDD FOR WORKKKKKKK! ~ C:

SO WHO WILL BE MY SPONGEBOB?.

2010-11-09T23:44:00.002+08:00

damn sweet right! or shld i say cute. hahah
dad and mum went Bintan from sunday t tuesday. Shiok only.
Suppose t play mahjong but dint:/ nevermind. more opportunities are yet t come:D
Has been catching " Running Man" for the past 2 days. Funny t the core!
Watched finish " Sangjyunwang Scandal" Wahhh! Song Joongki and Yoo Ah In wahhh!
HEARTMELTZZXZXZ. hahahah! ate korean bbq today with fam! damn shiok.
All koreans there siah! hehehhehe.
I waiting for my da yi ma t laiiii! Kuai dian laiiii! )):

2010-11-06T22:54:00.002+08:00

SS on Monday. hmmm. haven really focus on it. JIALAT!
Went t see sis perform. Nice! Good job jie! (:
2 more papers left. Can't wait! :D
MY MAHJONG, MOVIE MARATHONS, LATENIGHTS, AND DRINKING! :D
shiok shiok C:
Watched finish " It started with a kiss korean version"
so sweet. I forgot if i mentioned this in the earlier post.
But don't mind me if i did.

Life is so contradicting.
I don't know what I'm feeling right now.
It's like interested but not love/like.
Hence i really can't say anything.
I'm sorry.
But please, i fear this might affect you.

Basically, I'm gonna do many things once i finish my ss paper/ mcq.
Like dye-ing of hair, piercings etc.
Can't wait.
SERIOUSLY! :D

Heading t church tmr. with erica. After so so so longggg.
For her though. hahahah!

2010-11-03T09:48:00.002+08:00

Aleksandra=nice name. Idk why. Just the spelling and everything intrigue me.

O's are just about t end in a weeks time. In fact, there's only two papers left for me.
These past few weeks really made me realise a lot of things.
Studying can actually be a lot of fun.
I might sound crazy, but it sure does. no kidding man.
There were ups and downs during the paper. And it made me think through thoroughly.
I just wanna finish this last lap, and enjoy myself without having t worry much of the
outcome. What's done, is done. Nothing can change it.
Social studies and Science MCQ. Looking forward t it.

And there are a couple of movies that i really wanna watch!
Like " I give my first love to you" this jap show. I think its kinda a sad show. But yeah. the female main lead is the girl who acted in Hana Yori Dango! The female lead too!
Next is " The Social Network" Like nice lehh! But budds say the review said it was boring. Gonna check it out myself!
"The Last Exorcism" Heh heh! Excited. Might be watching it later with the Fel they all.
" The Incite Mill: 7 Day Death Game" I SWEAR the thriller like nice only! I'm really gonna catch this!
" You again" It's either this show or last exorcism! So, see how things go. Can't wait! :D

Gotta find lobang watch all this shows liaooo. Many upcoming activities like tonning, mahjong all. I think mahjong and movie are like the main thing liaooo!

Prom ah prom, i dont want t wear a fking dress. But, for the gathering of my fellow friends, I will goooo~ Soooo, i need t buy a fking dress, and fking heels.
Pray I won't fall downnn * prays hard. *

Eating Swensens with daddy later! C: Can't wait! It has been a long time ever since
" Suki Sushi". Come t think about it, I wanna accomplish my cravings list!

“Self-respect cannot be hunted. It cannot be purchased. It is never for sale. It cannot be fabricated out of public relations. It comes to us when we are alone, in quiet moments, in quiet places, when we suddenly realize that, knowing the good, we have done it; knowing the beautiful, we have served it; knowing the truth we have spoken it.”
— Whitney Griswold

2010-10-21T00:25:00.002+08:00

Science practical is in about 8 hours time.
I'm pretty nervous. Okay. Strike that out. Fking nervous.
On top of that, I lost my physics practical. WOW!
Double trouble okaye.
I'm pretty excited as well. Kinda irony, ain't it?.
Because, when practical start, time is just gonna " Zoommmmmmm "
Just a blink of an eye, it's already the end of O's.
Excited much.
But as of now,
I just wanna focus and put in my best effort,
for my O's.

"This is just a perilous journey, that everyone goes through in life."

2010-10-05T07:07:00.000+08:00

No wonder sometimes it hurts oh-so-bad.

2010-10-04T00:36:00.001+08:00

Have you ever seen anyone this cute?.

Okay. I was thinking about him and i went t see his new photos.
And these pictures made me smile t myself.

My only antidote. <3

2010-10-03T23:55:00.003+08:00

I'm a little stress for O levels t say the truth.
I'm not hiding my feelings.
sometimes, i just feel like bawling my eyes out.